Chronic Problems

At The Doherty Relationship Institute, we believe every marriage problem can be broken down into one of two categories. This page is dedicated to chronic problems. These are long-lasting, really-don't-go-away issues (though with the right help can really improve) and they have a different energy for couples than the other types of problem: acute problems or a full out marital crisis.

Chronic problems now account for the major reason couples divorce. 

Generally, one spouse finds chronic problems intolerable enough that marriage counseling is the only hope for change. (Or maybe marriage counseling has failed, and they are now on the brink of divorce.)

We want the blog posts below to help you learn more about the interactional dance you and your spouse are in. You have a lot of power to improve your marriage, even by yourself because your spouse is not just reacting to events in your shared life, but to you specifically.

When Being a Conflict Avoider Becomes Dysfunctional and What To Do About It

Welcome to the best way through your conflict-avoiding, marriage crushing dilemma!Sometimes disliking conflict is simple: conflict exhausts you and never seems to make things ...


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Changing Your Spouse: A How-To Guide

We wish we could make this blog post really brief by saying:How to change your spouse? You can't and you shouldn't bother trying.But alas, ...


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Feel Like You Do Everything in Your Marriage?

No calendaring. No decisions. You do NOTHING and bellies would still be filled, laundry done, bills paid and the house maintained. But alas, you ...


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Married to a Pacifist Who Thinks You Start Conflicts Too Often?

You are the type of person who appreciates a good discussion to resolve problems (emotional or logistical).And, as the world would have it, you ...


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Does Your Spouse Complain That You're Not Sharing the Load?

"Here it comes again!"The lecture that I’m a do-nothing around the house. I can keep quiet or fight back, but either way nothing changes and ...


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All Marriages Have 3 Patterns: Which Fits Your Marriage?

If you put 100 marriage therapists in one room, and ask them to define what gets marriages stuck, you would likely get at least ...


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My Friend’s Marriage Sucks But I’m Tired of Hearing About It

Going in Circles with Someone Who Complains About the Same Marital Issue? CLICK HERE NOW We’ve heard it all in our live Marital First ...


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Helping Others

Subtle, sometimes serious conversations are happening right now in your life and in the friendships around you. They may be one powerful line, whispered, ...


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Inventory of “Healthy” Spouses Contributions

We want to help spouses who are feeling stuck in a marriage with a “hard” problem, which we define as the “Triple A‘s”: Affairs, ...


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How to Avoid Struggles in Daily Chores

We would be remiss if we didn't address the #1 comedy gold of marriages.DAILY CHORES.Adulting is hard enough on our own. Now add in ...


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Annoyed at the In-Laws? Wrong. The Real Problem Is….

The real problem is probably something else.In-law struggles are very real...but often the solution is not what you think it is.Here's the thing:if you ...


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Money is Never a Reason for Divorce

If you haven't heard that money is the to reason for divorce, you've probably been living under a rock.This idea is so prevalent that ...


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Loving a Spouse with Too Many Commitments

There are many reasons people get too busy and over-committed.But this article is not about the reasons why but about how to handle being ...


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Differences in Parenting

Your kid does something annoying or out of line.(At least in your eyes!)Your spouse reacts... not at all like you would.(Too low key or ...


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Differences in Marriages

We feel comfortable with people who are like us, but we fall in love based on our differences. There's something about someone we love ...


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Why 80% of Parenting Conflict in a Marriage is Not in How You Parent

Parenting is an intense sport these days.The internet offers more information than any reproducing human has ever had access to, and the culture DEMANDS ...


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