Taking Action on Personal Agenda for Change

Taking Action

  1. Develop a way to monitor and record your progress.

[A weekly self-rating form from 1-100 on each area of change, with a place for notes]

  1. Focus on one area of change from your list first, two at the most
  2. If possible, tell a friend what you’re working on—as an “accountability partner.”
  3. Don’t announce the change to your spouse; just do it. See if your spouse notices, and then you can say you’re working on it.
  4. Keep reminding yourself that this is a good thing for you to change in yourself, no matter what the effect.
  5. Notice how your spouse shifts as you shift. It may be negative or neutral at first, and then is likely to turn positive.
  6. If a relationship rebalancing becomes necessary (e.g., renegotiating roles if you are functioning in a more balanced way), then have that conversation, starting with what you’ve been trying to change in yourself.
  7. Don’t be too self-critical or critical of your spouse. Change is hard.