- Marriage and Family Therapist
- Professional Counselor
I heartily believe in the maxim that "The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother," and the companion, "The greatest gift a mother can give her children is to love their father." Of course all of my couples don't have children, but having a loving marriage, among other things, increases overall life satisfaction, elongates the individual lifespan, provides natural tranquilizers in the brain when (for instance) coming home from a long day, decreases psychological disorders, decreases substance abuse disorders, increases levels of oxytocin (the soothing bonding hormone that is actually found in breastmilk to help mother bond with child), decreases overall stress and the "fight or flight" response, leads to a greater immunity against disease, and, interestingly, is a better predictor of recovery from surgery than genetic/hereditary factors. This is but a few.
I love when couples come in fighting. I love when couples come in completely distant from one another. I love when only one spouse is really interested in reconciling. I obviously love when both partners come in and are passionate about and dedicated to doing what it takes to make the partnership better. I love all of these initial states because I know through research and my experience that how a couple enters therapy does not determine how they will leave therapy. And I especially love when I am part of the process that leads to happiness and satisfaction.
I am a specialist in infidelity. Typically, but not always, the betrayed partner becomes a somewhat obsessed detective that they don't want to be in tracking their partner's behaviors, and wants to concentrate on the infidelity in therapy. The betraying partner typically wants to work on what led up to the infidelity. Both of these clients desires need to be addressed and worked on in therapy.
It is best to send me a secure email through my website, www.nicholaswilkensphd.com, with a little background and what your schedule/s are like.