Sandy Lillie, Ph.D.

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Availability: Available Openings
License: Psychologist
Address: 102 Vaquero Way
Redwood City
United States
Best Way of Reaching Me:
  • Email
  • Phone or Email is Fine
The reason I chose to specialize in marriage and couples counseling is….:

Because connection is the thing I value most in my own life, supporting love and connection in the lives of other people is deeply gratifying for me. Most often, this means helping couples/families to work through the conflicts that divide them, helping them learn how to create and sustain a safe and secure sense of their bond. Sometimes it means helping people to separate with as little trauma as possible. I did my doctoral dissertation on couple communication back in the 1970’s, so this has been my specialty for about 40 years now.

What you most enjoy about working with couples is….:

I experience my work as my calling, the way I can most naturally share my gifts with others in this world. So I am generally energized by my engagement in counseling. It makes me happy when I am able to draw on all that I have experienced in my own life, all the painful challenges and hard-won victories, to truly understand what my clients are experiencing and be able to help them find pathways out of the places where they feel trapped.

Are there kinds of couples or issues that you work with a lot?:

I have a large practice and see a broad range of couples, dealing with the full spectrum of issues. Some began in arranged marriages, others came together with great passion but now struggle to resolve the conflicts that grow out of differing communication styles, parenting challenges, sex, financial choices, histories of trauma and other difficulties. I see couples who are opposite sex, same sex, from many different cultural and racial backgrounds, for everything from premarital counseling to recently discovered affairs to facilitated divorce. I see teenagers and octogenarians, though most of my couples are somewhere in the middle. I am certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), an approach to working with couples that emphasizes the centrality of emotional safety and connection. If we feel seen and accepted and important to our partners, differences between us can be resolved.

What are the steps to becoming a client in my practice?:

If you email me your phone number and some good times to reach you, I'll call for a conversation to determine whether we seem like a good fit. If you want to make an appointment with me, I ask that you tell me the times/days you prefer and also what is possible, and I do my best to accommodate you. My scheduling practices are very flexible.


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